Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I just need ONE!

Well - I got a phone call around two o'clock Monday afternoon ... telling me that my level wasn't quite high enough and that the nurse thought that we would wait to do the trigger shot on Tuesday and IUI on Thursday. She said she wanted to run it by Dr. Patton - and she would call me back. About 30 minutes later - she called to tell me that Dr. Patton is very impressed with my ultrasound/follicles and he wanted me to trigger TONIGHT! So we did the shot around 12:30 am - and let's just say ... I had a melt down. I was very overwhelmed and felt really anxious /scared /upset / nervous. It was really hard for Daniel - to see me like that and to stay patient. He got really frustrated - but I tried to explain to him that I just felt overhwelmed. I had not cried at all before this moment - through the whole thing ... even the medicine didn't make me emotional - so the shot sent me over the top. After I pulled it together - it was nothing.

Tuesday was a pretty uneventful day - tried to take it easy because I figured that would be best. Tuesday night - we were SO happy! GO COCKS! Gamecocks won the CWS - and it was the BEST baseball game that I have ever seen in my life! So intense - you could definitely tell the best two teams were in the end - it was tied 1 to 1 and they went to 11 innings! It was really good - we were up late because we were so fired up after the win!

We had to be at SEFC by 10:30 this morning ... collection at 10:30 and procedure at 11:30. Everything went really well - Dr. Patton said they usually like to see 10 million "swimmers" after the wash but that some men have more than that ... "like your husband - who had 74 million swimmers!" My jaw dropped. I looked over at Daniel and he was just SMILING and giggling - like he was "the man " or something. I couldn't believe it - and then Dr. Patton said "That poor little egg - I don't know what it's going to do!"

I was trying to be as positive as possible - even though there was only one mature follicle on Monday. Pam (our nurse) kept saying, "It only takes one!" so we'll see! In my mind - I can't imagine 74 million swimmers and not ONE of them sticking it out. I really hope that this is it - I am going to try my best to stay busy and find things to be focused on OTHER than this terribly long 2ww.

Daniel goes tomorrow for pre-op for next week's surgery. They called today to give us the scoop - we'll have to be there by 9am on Wednesday... bloodwork/prep until 11:00. The surgery is at 11:30 and will last 4 hours! Then he'll go to recovery for an hour ... so I'll have a LONG day waiting! Luckily we'll have our own private room for the 3-5 day stay. I am already starting to pack things that I'll need to keep me sane! At least that will help some of this long wait to go by - I'll be a little busy taking care of him! :)

Please continue to pray that the Lord will prepare my body and bless us with the miracle that we have waited for. I am praying that this will be it - and that two weeks from now I'll be the happiest girl in the world :)

Monday, June 28, 2010

Pray Without Ceasing!

IUI #1 Update

We went this morning for another ultrasound to measure everything and see how my body has reacted to the medicine. I had one follicle that was "really ready" and measured at 18! They said that they want the follicle to be "mature" at 18-22 ... so it looks like we're in good shape. I had some blood work done and they are going to call this afternoon to let me know if we need to do the trigger shot tonight or wait until tomorrow night. I am really hoping that we trigger tonight ... that way our procedure will be Wednesday morning. I am trying my best to stay positive and keep my eyes focused only on the Lord. I know how easy it is to listen to that little voice inside that tries to get you to doubt things - that this is a waste of time, getting my hopes up for nothing, and that I'm jumping the gun on God's plan. There are times that I feel like I am going with what I want - instead of what God has planned. My pastor reminded me that we can't take anything "out of God's hands" or "get ahead of God". He is ALWAYS in control - and whatever happens can only happen because He has allowed it to happen!

Please pray that we will stay positive and that we will continue to seek the Lord throughout the whole process. I am really hoping that we will have our miracle at the end of all of this - but praying that the Lord gives me peace and comfort in whatever outcome! I have found so much peace in reading blogs of other couples that have faced the same things that we are facing now. It is so encouraging to read the stories that end with little miracles ... and my heart is so burdened with those couples that are still waiting on their answer to their prayers.

Along with our IUI this week, and the dreaded 2ww we have ahead of us, Daniel is having back surgery on the 7th. His back has still not healed from the accident in March. His back is starting to slightly collapse and he is still in TERRIBLE pain - so they are going to put in rods and screws into his spine to support his back.

Please pray that the surgeons will have steady hands and clear minds as they operate - as well as a quick and easy recovery. I pray that the Lord uses our time in the hospital for us to witness to others and share His love.

We have a lot going on right now but we are confident that the Lord is going to be faithful and answer our prayers ... even if it's not exactly the way we want them answered.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Where we stand!

I thought that I would give a little more details on our journey with our first IUI so far. We went Sunday morning for a ultrasound - so that they could check for cysts and make sure that everything looked "normal". GREAT NEWS - NO CYSTS!!! We were so excited to hear Cheryl tell us that! Especially since last month, in May, I had to go to Emergency Care for abdominal pain and they found another cyst that they were concerned with it's size. Looks like my body absorbed it on it's own this time!

Sunday was day 3 of my cycle - so they want the lining of your uterus to be 7mm or less. Mine was 3.8! So far so good ... They also checked for follicles. Ideally, they want each ovary to have 8 follicles. I had 7 on my left and 8 on my right! All in all - I had WONDERFUL news and everything looks perfect to start the process! Now we wait for next Monday (6/28) to go to measure eggs and see where we stand. We are hoping that my lining has thickened and the eggs measure perfect! We know that God is in control and all things are possible through HIM and HIM alone!

Medicine really hasn't had any side effects so far. I am on day three of Femara and really haven't felt too different. I am thankful for that - and I'm sure Daniel is, too! :)

I just got back from a morning run. It was really relieving - even though it was already 100 degress outside. Gotta love the SC weather! While I was running - my inspiration song came on. This song has seen me through my battle with infertility and everytime I hear it - I cry and feel so overwhelmed with the presence of the Lord. I know for sure that He is speaking to me through this song everytime it plays. I'm sure I looked crazy - dripping with sweat and teary as I ran through the neighborhood!

"I will move ahead
bold and confident.
Taking every step
in obedience."

Monday, June 21, 2010

Our Journey to Three!

To say that we have been on a roller coaster the last few months would be an understatement. Daniel returned from Afghanistan in February after a six month tour. Six weeks after his return, he was in an ATV accident and broke his back in two places and a rib on his left side ... the day that he was getting out of the Marines for good. We thought that we had finished our time in the Marines - even after a recall in September 2008. We knew that God had a plan and a reason that He brought us back to the Corps - but had no idea that we weren't finished with the Marines yet! After his accident, the Marine Corps has decided to medically extend him at least through the end of the year. So for the last three months, we have been running the roads to different doctor appointments. In the midst of those appointments, the neurosurgeon found a spot on his back that was the beginning stages of melanoma. Praise the Lord - after have a 4 inch chunk cut out of his back - results came back and everything is clear! We are now awaiting a surgery date in the next few weeks for the neurosurgeon to insert rods and screws into Daniel's spine. His body isn't healing the way they were hoping that it would - so they are going to try to relieve some of his pain by doing this surgery.

In the midst of all of this, we have been trying to get pregnant since the beginning of 2008. I have been diagnosed with Endometriosis and had two surgeries to remove a cyst and polyp. In between all of this, Daniel was in LeJeune/Afghanistan from April 2009 - March 2010, so we are back on full time trying! :) Since his return in February, we have been charting and testing and trusting in the Lord's perfect timing. After many prayers and seeking His will, we are beginning our journey with fertility treatments this month with our first IUI cycle. Daniel continues to encourage me and has confidence that this will be our last month of hoping and waiting. I started taking Femara on Sunday and will continue taking it through Thursday. On Monday, we will head back to get another ultrasound to measure eggs and set up the day for the procedure based on how my body has prepared itself. I am fully trusting the Lord through this - even though there are moments of fear and anxiety. I know that His ways are higher - and that He has plans to prosper us! Even if our plans don't exactly match His ... we are fully trusting Him to provide the desire of our hearts to be parents!

We will definitely keep this updated along the way ... and can't wait to look back on all of this to see the Lord's hands at work! We decided to start this blog to document our journey to three - and all of our blessings that come along the way!